It is a quality that not too many of us are good at doing. I often times find myself asking my clients if they had a friend that talked to them the way they talk to themselves, would you really want to be involved in that friendship/relationship? It’s time to shift some of those negative self-talking thoughts to more positivity self-loving thoughts.
If there was a trick to be able to see the beautiful, awesome, amazing you from someone else’s perspective I think it would be incredibly valuable! Unfortunately, I’m not quite sure how to make that happen but I do know that there are a few exercises that can help shift some of those negative thoughts to more positive ones.
Each day, start your day with running through a quick mental list of things you appreciate, value or like about yourself. For example, mine would sound something like this, “I’m thankful I have a strong, healthy body. I appreciate that I am smart and can problem solve. I like that I am happy. My hair looks good today…” They don’t have to be life changing, super deep statements – just start with small positive things you think of off the top of your head. Appreciate yourself for all the small little things that add up to make you awesome.
Another exercise is to remind yourself that things are okay. If you think of yourself rowing in a canoe and ideally you want to just flow with the water on the flip side, trying to row against the water is a lot more work. One phrase that can be powerful with this is, “I’m okay that…” or “I’m okay with…” especially when it is about you or things out of your control. For example, “I’m okay that I didn’t PR my work out this morning, I have had a lot of stress going on in my life.” Or “I’m okay with the fact that I made the choice to have some cocktails at happy hour with friends, I am going to eat really clean first thing in the morning.” Phrases like this can help you practice self acceptance, forgiveness and be able to move on.
One additional exercise you can try is to keep a journal next to your bedside and before bed each night, write five things you appreciate yourself for doing that day or are happy with yourself about. This is a loving and pleasant way to send you off into your slumber, thinking about positive things and get ready for another joyful day. Some days, especially challenging days it could be difficult to come up with even five. At that point, make an effort to write down things you are thankful for (relationships, a roof over your head, fresh air, your health, a new day, forgiveness, laughter etc.) this will keep the positive thoughts and energy flowing.
Trying to notice yourself when you are triggered in a situation and figuring out how you can make that challenge into a loving situation. Pay attention if you catch yourself trying to compare yourself or your life to someone else’s. Instead try to reframe that thought process into motivation and appreciation of the other person’s hard work. Continue to be compassionate and patient with yourself. You are a growing, learning beautiful being, celebrate the journey.
Make a point to create an attitude of gratitude with yourself.
In love & health,